Someone should have already asked what your sexual fantasy is. And you? Answered coolly, or blushed in embarrassment? Shame? That is right, after all, we are dealing with a subject that is not so exposed, and it is not the same as talking about cuisine.
But though talking about sexual fantasies; it is to talk of a world of intimacy, individuality, of our own life, what upbringing we had, education, our imagination, senses, an array of hankers, prohibitions, whereupon a melting pot of sentiments involved in. To bear sexual fantasies is absolutely normal, to give it a go, that is, search for fulfillment of what brings on highly erotic and sensual charges to the person, it is by all means normal and even healthy. Healthy. This word deserves relevance; mostly when it comes to sexual fantasies, given the fact that existing factors might be detrimental to matters. To have sexual fantasies and not discernment between reality and fantasy turns out to be extremely worryingly. To set off on a restless search, with no boundaries, with total disregard to the physical and mental health of your partner, becomes something of dangerous-like dimensions. And that can happen in those cases which attempt to realize something, in case of a sexual fantasy, with no consent, of the other part involved. When someone’s fantasy is not compatible with the partner’s, there is no atmosphere, dialogue, which enables this person to feel at ease to realize it, unless by means of constrain and violence, by then, we are not talking about sexual fantasies any longer but monstrosities, otherwise. Sexualfantasies are individual in the first place and as a result of that, should be respected and never forced on for the sake of just one partner’s satisfaction. A couple for instance, might as well have sexual fantasies in common and come to realize them together. on the same token, each might have his/her own fantasy, and that is pretty common, so long as there is intimacy, complicity and dialogue. With an open mind, searching for that so kept concealed in the back of one’s mind, it becomes choice-making rather than necessity or imposition. However, there should not be forgotten, yet there are those fantasies, which some people prefer to push aside, kept away where our most secret and intimate thoughts lie dormant. A magic mental field spawns all fantasies, and by sheer fluke, needn’t to come into concrete plan, and its healthy to the boot. One should know that sexual fantasy truly is solely message, which for us comes across to decrypt, to interpret. It comes sentiment-ridden, of hankers and wishes, embedded in so many semblances. Yet what pops up in our sexual fantasies most often, it is a necessity for affection of those involved in, or even so obtaining that provided effect of the fanciful situation. The profound aspect of sexual fantasies is that it enables the human being the freedom of experiencing new situations, the freedom of choice, whether eager to fulfill or ditch your fantasies. Sexual fantasies to live up for, can be highly invigorating, as unique an experience as tasty. Bear with me; don’t go over board and stay within boundaries by respecting common-sense of yours and whoever plays it along willingly. Otherwise, that would not be nice at all.
By Adriana Sommer da Costa Psychologist and Sexologist
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