Theoretically
speaking, women are able to maintain sexual relations shortly after
childbirth. Those who had natural childbirth are physically apt
to sex after two or three weeks post childbirth, whereas those who
undergone caesarean may take up to six weeks to be ready for sex.
However, most women do not feel secure taking from where their sexual
relations left out. It is more to do with psychological reasons rather
than physical matters. Having a baby mess up with the woman's life
and, besides, there is a new being that disputes the space that before
was only of the couple.
Physically speaking, the woman is bound to feel pain in the vagina
during sex. Such situation may occur as the vagina could still be
sensitive due to the suture. If that so happens, there would better
off postponing sexual relation with penetration, so no risk of infection
or bad cicatrisation would be in this period.
With the arrival of a son, mostly the first-one, the woman's life
suffers quite significant changes. one of which might be related
to the body. The extra-weight gained during pregnancy might poise
her to feel somewhat unattractive for the partner so then, avoiding
sexual relation while her body still far from its best shape.
Concerns regarding physical attributes are more from the woman rather
than her partner, for his desire still present. It is important the
woman thinking that those extra pounds would go shed away given time
and this kind of preoccupation generates a lot of anxiety and low-esteem,
which may reflect itself on other aspects of their lives.
The rapport that the woman establishes with her baby, mainly in the
first months of life it is so intimate and exclusive that she simply
feels not so much in need of her partner. To care for her baby is
such a great pleasure that overrides the pleasure of sexual relation.
Mother and baby wind up complementing each other and that may interfere
in her relation with partner, who in turn feeling rejected, thus,
faced with this sentiment, and might be led to a certain disconnection
of his woman. It could reinforce in her the idea of not being desired
by him any longer. This kind of attitude ends up by becoming a circle
whereupon one blames the other for the lack of affection.
Physical strain is another element that can affect the woman's sexual
life. A new being that requires care for twenty four hours drains
the energy for sexuality. In the few remaining hours that she has
to rest, the woman is bound to do so, leaving sex on hold.
Yet there are women who turn extremely alert to any noise that the
baby might emit, in that, less so incline to relation.
Many women may not yet be so happy with maternity. The new routine,
the sort of relationship established with the partner and the possible
losses that she might be managing, as time, liberty, lurking unemployment
bring in dissatisfaction thus reflecting as lack of sexual desire.
There might not be forgotten that the sexual relation is not made
of penetration alone. The exchange of caresses can be highly pleasurable
and so sure step to the woman to feel more lay back and once again
likely to feel more at ease with having penetration. The returning
to sexual life can be utterly delicate for certain women; nonetheless,
it is necessary that it happens. Difficulties might arise, but they
will be ceased if there is open dialogue between the couple and patience
of both to comprehend that it means just a stage of their lives.
By
Anne Griza
Psychologist
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